New Years Resolution

I now believe it is possible to fall out of love. Maybe all it really takes is some small form of closure. At least it did for me. Over the break I saw face to face the person I'd learned to love and had been so defeated by. But no more. I don't know if friendship is possible at the moment (see "Awkward"), but from that meeting, I received something I hadn't had and something I desperately needed. Closure. I realized in the following days that I am no longer in love. And while that scares me out of my mind, it is also one of the most liberating feelings. I suppose I've always been free to do what I want and feel what I want, but when I was in love with someone who no longer loved me, I felt trapped. And finally, I've freed myself from that trap. Essentially, I've freed myself from myself. Because it wasn't that one individual who was holding me back from my freedom, but myself. You know that cheesy saying that goes something like "Your only limit is yourself?" Well, I was living proof of that. Sometimes I pretended it was that other person's fault, but really, it was all mine. I never want to be someone who blames someone else for something they did to themselves anymore. Never again. I don't even know if what I was feeling was love, or just some form of deep longing for something that didn't exist, all I know now is that that cloud hanging over me, keeping me from experiencing life, is finally gone.

As the Doctor would say, next stop everything.

P.S. The next post will be about Doctor Who.