The Best of Times

So I've decided that Saturday's will now be designated blogging days. If I don't set rules for myself and specific times to get things done, then they never get done, so here's to a hopefully successful self-inflicted rule so that I will blog consistently. That made no sense.

Yesterday, I was sitting in the Student Union Underground at UNC when I overheard a guy playing ping pong start talking about a girl he really liked to his other guy friends. He started off all nonchalant-like, saying, "Hey what'd you think of that blonde girl at that party last night?" My friend who was with me at the time (named Kat) translated his words to mean, "I really liked that blonde girl and no matter what you say, I'll still like her, I just want to have an excuse to talk about her." I rather liked this translation, since it proved to be true when he continued to talk about how he met her and what he liked about her. The more he talked about her and how much he liked her, the happier I became. I don't know if that makes me creepy, but I just thought-- somewhere there is that girl he's talking about and she's probably completely clueless that this guy she met is so into her and thinks she's like, the greatest thing ever, but you know what? That's what makes this situation so great. I love hearing someone talk about how wonderful a person someone else is. People ARE wonderful, and when someone acknowledges that, it makes the world seem like a better place. I wish everyone bragged about their friends to other people and told everyone how wonderful everyone in their life is. I still believe love is the greatest emotion/feeling/accomplishment humans are capable of obtaining or showing to someone else, and I honestly believe that all you need in life is love. Love is what makes things beautiful. It's what makes life worth living. So love people, tell them you love them, and tell other people too. Love truly does make a difference in the world.

In other news, I spent all day today sitting outside in the beautiful 60+ degree weather we had in Chapel Hill. I wrote in my journal for the first time in a long time, listened to Vampire Weekend, Sea Wolf, Fleet Foxes, and a host of other great artists, read some more of my book and watched some shirtless dudes play volleyball. But mostly, I just felt happy. I love where I'm at right now in my life. I have the freedom to do what I want and be who I want without fear of judgement and I love being at Chapel Hill. The college life really is wonderful, especially if you go to a school as great as UNC. On Thursday night, UNC beat D00k in a basketball game and I, along with thousands of my fellow Tarheels, stormed Franklin street screaming "FUCK D00K!!".  It truly was one of the best days of my life. I had spent much of the day with friends and relaxed on the quad before my chem lab playing the baritone ukulele (in other news, I'm learning to play the baritone ukulele), and just talking about life in general. Winning the game and celebrating like crazy with everyone was just the icing on the cake of my perfect day. After spending the better part of an hour getting drenched in smoke, booze, and sweat, Kat and I went to Frat Court where we got to witness the men of the hour (the stars of the basketball team) be exalted by a hoard of inebriated, excited-as-fuck college students on the steps of one of the frats. It truly was a grand time.

What made those moments so magnificent was the shared pride and joy everyone felt. You could literally hug anyone and shout "FUCK D00K!" and you were instant friends. Later at another frat, Kat and I danced to a live band and had a fucking great time dancing with people we didn't even know because it didn't matter if you knew each other or not-- we were all Tarheels and united in our pride. Coming from a hellhole of a private school, I'd never felt any pride for my school, much less felt the same sense of community with such a large group of people. It was a truly incredible experience and one which I'll never forget. Experiencing something like that also made me appreciate the fact that I can partake in these opportunities because of where I'm at right now. Even though bad things still happen everyday and I fuck up more than I do the right thing, I can always learn from my mistakes and keep trying to be a better person. Although I can't prevent bad stuff from happening or change the way I feel about something, I can change how I respond to the shit that happens in life. I realized the same thing when learning to fall out of love with someone I thought was my soulmate. After being miserable for so long, I finally realized that I didn't have to be miserable. Sure, I couldn't make him love me, and sure, I couldn't help that I was still in love with him, but I didn't have to miserable about it all the time. I could still find happiness in other areas of my life and work on being a more positive person, and eventually that's what I did. It was fucking hard, but I did it and I can honestly say I'm a much happier person today because of that decision. That decision didn't solve all my problems, and it didn't get me a better relationship, but it made me fucking excited about where my life is right now and made me realize that I don't need a romantic relationship to be happy.

So, a word of encouragement. No matter where you are in life: embrace it. Even the shittiest times are part of who you are and who you will become, so make the most of them. No one can tell you who you are-- it's up to you to figure that out. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters, and that can be both good and bad. It means you can either be satisfied with the person you are, or you can change. Sometimes, change is good. Sometimes you need to change because the person you are right now is a bit shit. But other times, you need to accept yourself for who you are and stop trying to be perfect. You are you. You will never be anyone else, no matter how hard you try, so be satisfied with yourself. You're an incredible human being and if someone can't see that, then it's their loss, not yours. Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are, and choose to be happy. If you're miserable, figure out why and change it. You and only you have the power to change your own life, so do it. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you, because they can't and won't. And finally, never forget that you are a truly incredible person and make the world a better place just by being you.

Cheers,
Your Friend.

Décider de and the Music Library

Sorry it's been forever. Again. I must do better with writing. Honestly, it's just because I'm lazy. I'm also really good at making excuses for myself like, "you don't have time to write anything right now" or "you don't have any words of wisdom to impart or anything inspirational to tell anyone so shut up." For example, right now, I'm thinking "I don't have time to write because I have a make-up Chemistry lecture in less than ten minutes and don't have shit to say." But really, writing anything, even if it's shit, should be my goal.

There is a little known alcove on the UNC campus known (to select few) as the Music Library Lounge. My future roommate told me about it and now I see how perfect it is. Large windows, glass walls, a perfect view of endless books and the Bell Tower, and even decorative ivy and assorted plants. Just thought I'd share. Sometimes places make me happy even if they aren't the best places to get work done in, which is what I was supposed to be doing today and which I'm clearly not accomplishing.

Do you ever wonder why old people always ask if you need a light on when you're reading or studying at night, even if you're studying in a perfectly adequately lit room? I don't know the answer to this question, but my theory is that as we get older, our pupils shrink and we don't take in as much light. Or maybe librarians and my grandparents just relish the idea of flicking on a light for someone else.

Since it's now less than 5 minutes until my lecture and it will take me a good 5 to get there, I bid you adieu.

and cheers.